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Jan 23, 2013, 12:01 PM
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Member Since: Apr 2012
Posts: 1,565
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pbutton
I am mostly ok with it today. I have been busy trying to think of ways to explain it to T. I am sure I'll start freaking out right before next week's appointment.
I am also supposed to call to set up an appt the week of valentine's day. I haven't done that yet. I should. Not sure why I'm being so slow. Sigh.
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Vulnerability. It's really hard for those of us who've been traumatized, you know? I think you'll feel so much better after you have the conversation about it. And I think the easiest way to get through it is to not try to explain it or justify it. Rather, just say it 'plainly.' "It's hard for me to ask for appointments." Let him respond. I'm guessing he'll want to understand why it's hard for you. Then you can elaborate, as plainly as possible. For example: "Maybe it reminds me that I need you, and I'm afraid of that." or "I think it makes me feel insecure about our relationship. I think it would help me to have a standing appointment that I know belongs to me." Or whatever it is that's behind the difficulty. For myself, I know I would have had a very, very tough time if I had to ask every week. Stating it plainly puts it on the table, and will kind of diminish the vulnerability you feel... as opposed to trying to explain why the way you feel about it deserves his attention.
I look forward to hearing how it goes!
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