Common theme. Not unusual experience. Recognizable emotion. Maybe a bit too ordinary. Could even label it boring. Cringe, I do. Not wanting to admit it. Embarrassing too. Toss in a bit of anger, mix with a touch of disappointment. No, mix with plenty of disappointment. Sprinkle from the plentiful supply of shame, and dang, recipe yields full meal of abandonment feelings.

Yes, I know - talk to T about it. Yes, I know - easy miscommunication. Yes, I know - unrealistic expectations. Yes, I know - 'therapy' out of session not done (of course, I had no expectations of that). Yes, I know - no obligation on part of T. Yes, I know - agreement she not reply unless requested to reply (BUT, she HAS replied without such request in past so already broke the agreement earlier.)

Still......

See, I had sent T numerous texts on Sunday because I was experiencing a tough tough emotion. All I needed from her is what she's done in the past - just a few words in reply that she heard me. Just last month we had a bit of text interchange in which she DID offer that. Again, no in-depth therapy, just a couple of words to remind me how to handle my emotional upheaval.

But, this time - nothing. NOTHING. nothing. No acknowledgment at all. No inquiry how I'm doing after 2 days. Nothing. nothing.

I don't get it. She's always given me something.

So, really? After all these months and all I've been through and all that she knows about me - really? - I'm abandoned now?

And, I'm reacting extremely. Now, I want to quit therapy. And I think at least I'll cancel next appointment. Over reaction, I know. I do know that. Still....