Iīve been pondering over this for quite some time.
I have come to notice that I can feel like a COMPLETE different person,
depending on what I do, where I am and who I am with.
It changes me, the way I see myself, life, the way I feel about me, my self-confidence, my attitude... everything.
Eg when I am on holidays I am completely different. Mostly very free and happy and relaxed and I look at life differently, more open-mindedly.
I even look different.
When I am with friends I am funnier.
When I am in dance class, I am very serious and not so free and relaxed.
When I am with my mother, I feel mute and like a little girl because I have to suck up all my feelings and thoughts. And Iīm angry and not very compassionate or loving, evil maybe.
When I am with my boyfriend, I am so much more loving towards me and people.
When i teach, I feel so grown-up and responsible and sort of serious.
When I meditate regularily, I feel more relaxed and accepting and loving.
So my question is, can we decide on who we want to be, by picking certain places to be or live in, people to hang out with and who not to see so often, things we do and things we donīt do?
Is this how it works?
It seems like it to me.
But I thought I could only be my "natural" me and I couldnīt meddle with that. I had to be who I was and I couldnīt "decide" to be more confident or loving or something.
Iīm confused. Can you help me?