Thank you or the hugs... and guess what... it only got worse.

Following could be TRIGGERING

So after all that had happened above I got the stomach virus that's been going around campus. Because of that and being upset I was only getting 3-5 hours of sleep per night. My Saturday, where I usually get 15 hours of sleep, I got three and a half. The next morning I wasn't thinking straight and starting licking my arm and could taste blood and then just started sucking and it felt like is was pooring out like old times. It tasted so good... but it wasn't there. I'm glad I didn't do anything that made it real but I feel like such a psycho for doing all that and not being connected with reality.
After all that I went to the nurse and talked to her about abdominal pain and sleeping (but was too embarrassed to tell her the other stuff) and she said I should take pepto bismal for stomach and at night take a benadril allergy pill at night to help me sleep.
After all that I only got 7 hours of sleep but I was able to think logically again and control panic attacks again.

I'm doing better now and have gotten two nights of 7 hours, which is way better than nothing.

Thanks for listening, I'm glad I can let all this out here. Although journaling is definitely productive, it still makes me feel like I'm hiding behind a mask because I'm to scared to admit what I'm really like.

I'm not that crazy/ abnormal am I? Has anyone else done something like this?