Im sorry ((((((((Wisewoman)))))) my post didn't mention "torture" stuff. maybe I should have been more detailed.

Back in the days that my mom was raised in (1920 - 1960's) was acceptable to spank with belts, a flyswatter, and so on. It was also acceptable back then for a parent to back hand a child that was mouthing off or swearing. Back in my moms days just about every household had a razor strop hanging on the wall to use. The basic bible saying Spare the rod spoil the child was followed back then.

So when my mom was an adult and raising children that was the type of parenting skills she had - what was taught to her and what she experienced as good parenting. So she used some of those parenting skills on me. There was no such thing back then as parenting classes for her to unlearn what she was raised with and learned about taking care of children. Back then the families were not scattered all over the place my mom learned parenting from her mom and grandma learned her parenting from great grandma and so on.

Now as I was growing up (1960's -early 1980's) those standards of using objects to spank with were still there but the standards of use and so on was beginning to change.

So at home I was being parented by a mother using physical dicipline but at school I was learning how wrong it is to get hit with a belt, the back of the hand, a flyswatter and so on.

That kind of conflict sent alot of mixed messages my way.

Its not my mothers fault she learned parenting one way and me and my siblings come along and somewhere half way through our raising the world sudedenly realizes and calls hitting with a belt, getting back handed and so on abuse.

My mother did the best she could parenting me with what the world had given her - my grandmother and the rules and standards of my moms time frame.

Just like I as an adult have to parent by using the present rules and standards for raising my child, and when my child becomes an adult he will have to parent his children according to the rules and standard of his timeframe.

With each generation rules and standards change and now thankfully there is such a thing as parenting classes so that parents no longer have touse what they learned in growing up about being a parent and raising children. Now that there is such a thing called parenting classes my child as an adult will be able to learn what the rules and so on are during the time that he is raising his children.

My mom, grandmother, great grandmother didnt have the benefit of parenting classes. what they had was each generations female told the next generation females how to raise children and be a good parent when that next generation female is pregnant. My great grandmother taught my grandmother when she was prenant with her first child how to raise a child, my grandmother taught my mother when my mother was pregnant how to raise a child.

That is why I say my mother did the best she could with what she had.

That does not include torture situations, My mother did not torture me and Im sorry you went through that.