Its actually because of this reason, that I decided to write down notes or a document about what I feel or goes on my mind whenever I have an "episode" or something that is notable that I think will be a great help to my doctor and to myself in figuring out ways of making me better and because after an "episode", my memory about it or the details about what happen or what I was feeling or thinking seems to blur and it doesn't make sense to me afterwards when my mood/feelings changes. Its like after I snap out of the episode after a couple of hours or days I get confused and ask myself what was I thinking or what was going on. But as I am seeing my my doctor next week, I suddenly felt like I shouldn't show her the notes and stuff when I intended to give it to her to begin with.. pffft