Careful.. If you keep attacking those who try to help you, then they will stop trying to help you. And nobody wants to do that here - its a caring place. Even if you don't agree.

You should start reading what's been said in so many posts (not just this one), and use your head, not your emotions. Nobody was being mean to you, sorry. Sometimes the truth hurts, and sometimes the truth needs to be heard in order to move forward. Sorry you do not get this.

I hope, one day, you will find the peace you need in your own skin. Nobody can do that for you - you will have to learn to like yourself otherwise you'll keep going around in circles. If you hate yourself, you just can not expect anyone to like you. Its too hard, esp if you lash out at anyone who attempts to help or be your friend. Nobody will keep chipping away at your defenses, sorrow and hatred to get to the real you and be your friend. Nobody works that way, they need some positive responses from you to know they are doing the right thing.

You don't want therapy, that's completely fair enough. Its not for everyone. However, you may benefit from more practical therapy, like cognitive therapy. That's less about your background and pain, but more about ways of dealing with it and the circle of bad emotions you have got yourself into.

Good luck.