It sounds like you are experiencing PTSD. I suggest seeing if your blood pressure is high enough for you to take propranolol XR, which is a beta-blocker, for high blood pressure. It has a side effect of reducing the trauma from traumatic experiences and even memories. In addition, I would suggest looking into a relaxation technique of some sort. Like The Silva Method. It is much more than just a relaxation technique, but that will be one of the effects you can use most immediately. You might be able to get books or audiobooks from your local library. If they don't have anything, they should be able to get it through inter-library loan.