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Originally Posted by Cataleya
Separated at 37. My ex doesn't seem to be interested in getting back together and the relationships I got involved with during this past year didn't work. I'm afraid I'm not going to be able to start again. I have my job going. I'm working out. I keep myself in shape. I have friends who are trying to stay around during this tough time. But love doesn't seem to come again. I think I pushed the ones came close this past year away and I kept communicating with my ex, which many times hurt me tremendously.
I'm afraid I won't be able to love and trust someone or being loved and trusted by someone again. It's a horrible thought. Please tell me if someone has gone through this before. I'm trying everything: Medication, therapy, friends, work...I tried to date, I'm going to church. What's going on? Why does it keep hurting? I'm doing what I'm supposed to do to get better.  |
Its never too late to start again. My Grandfather remarried at age 75 after his wife died. If you are still communicating with your ex, you need to let that relationship go before you can start again. Is it possible that you subconsciously pushed the men you were attempting to have a relationship with because you have not yet let go of your ex?
Relationships are complicated, but you need to make a decision. If you want to start again, stop communicating with your ex completely. Especially if he is causing you pain when you do communicate. You may find counselling helpful in working out your feelings. This is one time when burning your bridges is actually what you need to do in order to move on.
We are bombarded by T.V., radio friends etc. that relationships have to move forward at a fast, steady pace. That we should start being intimate almost right off the bat. Take your time. Get to know someone perhaps as a friend first, or at least with an open mind.
I'm 49 and was divorced 15 years ago. I never started dating again, though I've had several offers. In my case, there is a child, (now a young man), that holds me back. He lives with his mother, but until he has left the house and my child support responsibilities have ended, I am forced to deal with my ex who is VERY vengful. Until I can talk to my son without her around complaining and asking for more money,( she is already getting 2xs the legal requirement. The extra was supposed to go towards his education), I won't be able to start again.
I'm really sorry that you have to go through this. Love is a great, powerful thing, but when it goes wrong, it is just as powerful in its ability to cause pain. Once you have detatched yourself from your ex emotionally, just take things one day at a time. There will be someone else out there for you. Renew your emotional strength. Then renew a relationship.
Sam2