I agree with 1hopefulgal that you should be honest about your situation with your girlfriend. If she doesn't have a problem with it, let her choose whether or not she can handle it. Unless you don't love her anymore, if she wants to stay, let her. Once she knows how badly you feel, if she sticks around, she is a gem that you might not want to let go of. This would not be the time to try and enter into a new relationship, but its already established. She is an adult and capable of telling you whether or not she can handle it.

What you are feeling now is the result of your depression. Depression is just as much an illness as a physical illness. You are not a worthless person. Your girlfriend obviously saw something in you, and still does. Since you think highly of her, then the fact that she chose you to be with should tell you that you are important.

Should your girlfriend choose to stand by you, think about counselling sessions that include her as well. You can have your own sessions, but have some with your girlfriend. That way, she can learn how to help you and you won't have to go through it alone. I understand how awful you feel and your dark thoughts. Sometimes you have to keep telling yourself that what you are feeling (as far as not liking people, thinking you aren't good enough), are a result of your illness. If you broke your leg, you would feel physical pain and probably some frustration from having it in a cast. Your illness is emotional, and the symptoms of that are pain from your psyche. Just as you would limp with an injured leg, your mind is limping. Emotional pain can be just as bad and just as devestating as physical pain. Sometimes there is also physical pain with depression.

Suicide is not the answer, as you have pointed out. While it may end your pain, it will leave others full of pain, guilt, anger. Usually, when people think they want death, what they really want is for the pain to stop. You can use your family and girlfriend as reasons why you need to keep trying.

People will start respecting you when you respect yourself again. That is a bit simplistic, but its also true. Keep working on climbing out of that hole. It will take work and time, but when you succeed, you will respect yourself for what you have gone through and been able to fight.

Sam2