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Originally Posted by Anne2.0
Resolving unwanted involuntary experience, if by that you mean something like child sexual abuse, then I can relate to this at least in part. I don't think it's the ONLY reason I go to therapy, though. The thing that troubles me most in my daily life is not being fully present in the sense of having "unwanted involuntary" reactions to people and events that are somehow tinged with negativity. For instance, if my H's behavior is leading me to feel angry and hurt because I feel he is not listening to me, then I want to work to develop skills to get to the place where I can both communicate with him more effectively so he has a better opportunity to listen, rather than shooing him away AND be able to moderate my feelings into something small (in this moment) and let them go.
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Hmm. "involuntary experience" was clear to me but now I see how it's confusing.
How about automatic experience (impulses, habits, emotions).
Or any internal experience that you have no direct control over. Direct is a key word.
I can plan to think about my third grade teacher at 2pm tomorrow. I have direct control over that.
At times, the memory of my third grade teacher just pops into my mind.
I have no control over that. I have no idea of why or when it will happen.
I only have control of how to react AFTER that memory pops into my mind.
I have no direct control over my emotions. Most of the time they just happen.
I only have control of how I react to an emotion after it happens.
The same is true of impulses and habits.
Although, as I said before, I can do things that will likely cause an emotion like
going to a scary movie. But I can not feel elation on demand and directly.
I must do or think something that will likely cause an elation reaction, an automatic and involuntary reaction.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anne2.0
There are other reasons I go to therapy, too, including getting the support I need to do the stressful work I do, with trauma survivors; and to better understand the impact I have as a parent on my pre-teen son.
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I can't imagine feeling "stress" without the involvement of unwanted internal automatic impulses/experience.
When I was afraid to ride a roller coaster, I felt stress and anxiety about the
idea of riding one. AND I didn't want my stress reaction.
When I got over my fear, I realized I felt the same physical feelings while standing
in line to ride the coaster, as I did when I was afraid to ride. The only difference was
I experienced or interpreted the feelings as excitement, not stress.
I WANT excitement.
My point is, your conscious goal is support, but you're really looking to deal
with your stress and stress always involves an unwanted internal response.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anne2.0
I do not think you can distill everyone's reason for being in therapy into your box, though, even if it is a large shoebox and you have a really good shoehorn.
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Again, I'm not talking about one's stated reasons to go to therapy.
If your therapists said he/she can't lessen the pain you feel from you own responses/reactions to anything,
would you still want to go?
Having support and someone to listen to you feels good, but is that enough?
You're really looking to resolve your pain.
My theory is, if you fully accepted and wanted every feeling, impulse and emotion that
entered your mind, you wouldn't have pain that needs to be resolved.
Since I seem to be blind from the genius of my theory, I'm looking for any
ideas that could poke holes in it.