It hurts and nothing can change that.

I do think that consistency should be expected, but not perfection. It seems like a lot of the failures of consistency I hear about here relate to boundaries that are not clearly specified and adhered to.

I think it's tough for Ts to be consistent, yet not to play into the fantasy of the perfect all-giving caretaker. Many of us have injuries in that area and so are hyper sensitive to slights, yet that is the issue to be grappled with. Yes, I understand all too well that it touches unmet attachment needs, but part of the coming to terms with them, growing stronger by developing beyond them, is to learn to tolerate disappointment.

Some Ts don't seem to handle this transition very well. Others handle it ok, but make errors of timing, expecting too much progress too fast, or not seeing a regression. We feel what we feel, but how we respond to that feeling is up to us, not the T.