I posted this as my introduction but was told to bring it to the bipolar board. So here it goes...again.

Hi, I am a wife and a mother of 3. I don't know exactly where to start but here goes! I suffer from PTSD, bipolar, ADD, extreme shame, anxiety, borderline personality disorder and insomnia. (I think that is all lol)

The PTSD is from two traumatic things that have happened to me. First I was severely physically abused at the hands of my stepfather, (but you know, according to my mom and stepdad it never happened.) yeah okay! The other instance was about 2 years ago, I walked in on my best friend kissing my 13 year old son, she was almost 30 years old. I came to learn that this was going on for about 3 years starting when he was only 10. Since then we have filed a police report and she is now in jail. Her sentence was 6-23 months in jail. She served 5 months getting out early with good behavior. She was out two and a half weeks to be returned to jail on parol violations. (I hope she stays there for a LONG LONG time!)

I was a stay home mom for 12 years and have recently got a job for the first time in a long time. I enjoy my job, it is a very professional environment being a law office.

I have been depressed for a very long time. I hate that I could not protect my son and that it was happening right under my nose. I feel like such a failure as a mother, and wife. I have had nearly no interest in an intimate relationship with my husband. Being intimate with him just makes me think about what happened to my son. It's so hard to escape those thoughts. Every minute of everyday I am stuck reliving that moment that completely destroyed me and my family.

I am on pristiq, lorazepam, adderall, trazodone and meclizine (for vertigo). I was on abilify also but I wanted off of it because it was making me gain weight, after just losing 40 pounds I didn't want it back. I am happy with my meds at the moment but I feel like my body is already building up a resistance to the. Adderall, I've been on it for nearly two months. WOW! What a difference that made for a while.

Just today I started feeling really good. After only about 2 hours of sleep I had a fantastic and very accomplishing day. I got more done then I have in the past 3 months. I have an unbelievable amount of energy, leading me to believe I'm heading into a manic stage. Until I was diagnosed with bipolar I didn't know anything about it. I have read a lot about it and it's so strange to see myself right there in words in front of me.

I have so much more to say but I think I'll leave it at that for now. (Mostly because my thoughts are starting to jumble up in my head and I'm staring to get a headache)