I am not sure if this is the correct place to post my plight, but I have so many different diagnoses that it seems appropriate. Sorry for the length in advance!

I am a 26 year old female living in the US. I've had anxiety and depression related issues since I can remember. My childhood was a pretty typical "bad" situation; emotional, physical, and sexual abuse, as well as neglect. My family has long since disowned me, I have no friends, but I do, however, have a wonderful and caring spouse that provides me support and companionship.

Officially I have been diagnosed with: Agoraphobia, Avoidant Personality Disorder, BDD, GAD, MDD, OCD, panic disorder, PTSD, and SAD (I think that is all of them, hard to keep track anymore) In addition to this I am rapidly developing an eating disorder. I have lost 25lbs in 5 weeks, and am becoming more and more averse to food each day. (I promise I am not a hypochondriac, this is what multiple psychiatrists have told me.)

I have tried DOZENS of medications; SSRI's, SNRI's, antipsychotics, benzodiazepines, and other medications that are not typically prescribed for mental health issues, but were prescribed in an attempt to aid me. The only medication that has had an impact, while minimal, was Klonopin. All of these medications were taken as prescribed, given at least 8 weeks to take effect, and most had the dosages increased to the maximum daily recommended dosage over time. I no longer take any medication.

Therapy was an exercise in futility for me, having tried five different therapists and never being able to trust a single one. To be quite frank, I had a therapist start crying during a session with me, which has only fed my aversion.

At this point I lack insurance, so medication and therapy are not an option for me. I have called my local mental health "clinic" (which is endorsed by my county's mental health board, and the only option in my area for mental health care for the uninsured) on three separate occasions and never received any response back.

I have pretty much thrown in the towel as far as medical care, but have tried to implement a paradigm change, as well as doing self CBT. My results have been less than miraculous. I have been reaching out socially lately, but it seems that I am far too off base with the rest of society to form any meaningful connections, which has been the case all of my life. As much as I love my spouse, he alone is not enough human contact for me, nor is it fair to solely rely on him.

I know that I am not a terrible person; I am a kind, caring, honest, forthright, compassionate, intelligent, good-willed, open-minded person. I have been through far too much in my life to make snap judgments about others, but it does not seem that anyone else is willing to offer me the same courtesy.

At the core of things I am a humanist, so I have decided to disconnect myself with the atrocities of the world. I do not own a television, I have no interest in popular culture, and lately I have not been engaging myself in news or politics because I feel those things feed my discontent. I am being conscious and trying very hard to replace my negativity with positivity. I have been partaking in regular exercise. I have been indulging myself in things such as reading and learning that I was not able to enjoy for quite a long time. Traditional employment has been inadequate for me, so I am currently pooling the resources I have to start another business. I also devote a lot of time researching and planning my new business venture. In the past I have lost sight of my appearance and cleaning, but have since corrected those negative behaviors. I am in a very tight financial situation, so I have been seeking free activities, but those are few and far between.

I am a firm believer in the self fulfilling prophecy, and I am trying to do everything in my power to overcome my situation, but thus far all of my efforts have been fruitless. I guess what I am seeking here is some sage advice, any insights or suggestions are welcome. (with the exception of religion, as I am a content atheist and this will never change, no offense to any believers) I am no longer sure where to turn, and I do not have a support network by any means.

TL;DR I am crazy and weird, medication and therapy are not effective at all for me, and even a marked shift in my attitude and behavior is not producing any results. Help!