Well said James,

Yes I still want to function and that is amazing under the circumstances.
I have a grief counselor set up and a art therapist. I am no stranger to both physical and psychic pain. Although this isn't even in the same league.

I promised my husband that I will not kill myself and leave him alone. Also, I started a group in Jason's memory it is called HEAR. Heroin Epidemic Action Reform. Through his death I became acutely aware of the Heroin epidemic in our area. Beautiful young adults are dying at an alarming rate. I will be setting the date of our first meeting today. The number of members is growing. In my good moments I have been doing research setting up contacts, like law enforcement.
When I am not in in a ball in the floor moaning, this group is giving me a reason to go on.

But, I need to be able to dress and get out the front door. This is not possible today, hence the Effexor. I downed my first dose. Bottoms up to hope !

God is really throwing some Sh.....it my way.

Thanks for your reply it helps