Although the pain is still very much here and has been for far too long and grown strong. It all really does boil down to my thoguhts, way of thinking and emotions and rections that have caused this, some help yet not some help as I need to learn all again which is not easy, what I in theory should have picked up throughout my life to have good emotional health. I really need to change this because things may be starting off again and there is some hope this year with other stuff to work on which would change my life but once again me and my emotions may just cause me to fall flat on my face yet again.