It took me years to learn that it ok to touch yourself when you are w/ a man. It is not always his job. It does take two. Who knows better what you want then you. I had to show my H w/ my hand on his. I still do not like to get touch me while we are in t he middle of things. Toys help though. As for doing and being watched by my H. I can, I have , but I'd rather not. It's like I'm being watched by a hungry animal. I have developed performance anxiety also. This is all in the past tense because what sex used to be like is all but a memory. Between lost love and high dosages of meds. Just keep your pants on dude. I have no desire and could care less. I put out enough to keep the man from straying.

Sorry I got off subject a little there.