This is great in theory, but I think in practice the definition of attack varies widely from person to person. And some people, here as in RL, have a clear need at least some of the time to be victims in all situations where people fail to respond to them as they would like. I have had people tell me that I am triggered and that I have attacked them when I thought I was just expressing disagreement. I have also told people I felt attacked and they denied it. I have also seen people claim that they were attacked, when it seemed to me that they were the ones doing the attacking. The clearest attacks are the one that lead to nasty PM's, or its real life equivalent. Other than PM's, though, I think it's just individual difference about what's an attack, what's speaking up and disagreeing with respect for the other person, even who's being attacked. Like most things, there are people who think that they know the truth about these things and those who understand that being attacked and attacking are in the eyes of the beholder.

I'm not trying to invalidate your experience of feeling attacked, here or elsewhere. I'm just saying that people's sensitivities and interpretations to what is an attack versus a disagreement isn't straightforward at all; it's colored by individual experience and belief.

I would think, though, that that goal would be to be comfortable with being attacked here, because I don't think that your thread is going to solve what is a very ingrained problem. So my question would be, why not work towards getting to the point that when people attack you, you can shuck it off like water off a duck's back? After all, unless someone is stalking or threatening you here, this is a very "safe" kind of attack. I don't think it ever feels good to feel attacked, unless you're in need of working something out and need to practice responding -- I dated someone once who liked to engage in verbal sparring with "safe" partners-- but I don't think it has to feel bad. It can be neutral, or just an experience that happened.