Thanks so much to all of you! Your posts truly brought tears to my eyes.

One post that bothers me... I never thought of my threats of leaving as being "abuse" as Perna stated. I had just tried everything else and felt he needed to know I was serious about things needing to change if he wanted to stay married to me. I thought it was more of finally setting some boundaries, like we do with our kids. In other words: "If you can't respect me, I can't stay." Like you'd tell a teenager: "If you can't be home by curfew, you'll be grounded.". Am I off-base here? If I am being abusive, what should I have said? Seems to me he needs to know the consequences if things don't change. I thought I was just warning him, rather than just up and leaving...