Group reply, hope it's okay. I don't carry the family abuse with me as I used to. I used to have some need to have it validated. That is why that phrase was a trigger. I have no hatred toward any of them, including the female parent. I wish no evil on any of them. I hope they suffer little or no more pain in their lives. I don't know what forgiveness is in this case. For me I think it is learning and growing and loving and being as best I can. They are old, frail, sick. They know how I feel. It's out in the open now and I was quite clear that I did not approve of the father's treatment of little sister either, that this was all abuse.

All of that said, When my Jane died I wished it had been them, why did such a good soul have to die so young when the mean ones live on? I feel like an orphan in the sense that though I have 8 sibs there is no one to hold my history. Sibs are out of contact as well. I wouldn't like them if I were introduced by a friend and I don't like them now. Selfish, damaged, some continuing the abuse, some not. Most have grown kids and some of those were abused. I have a baby baby sister who has two children. I think the oldest is about 15. She was protected by me and my older sis, why did she go on to abuse her own?

It is a sensitive issue to me as I see kids abused all around me and feel powerless to make it change. These precious gifts should be rocked and kissed and snuggled and read to. That is my mission in this world now. Perna, I agree, it is the past but it took me years to say the words out loud and heal. They have no effect on me now. And I am who I am in spite of them.

Dottie, I know the look you mean. Careful reading below.



For me it was almost as though she derived sexual pleasure from it. With him it was plain hatred and anger.