Okay here goes, I have depression that comes and goes, Anxiety, DID and the hardest things to bear is neck spasms. Neck spasms hurt and my brain feels so wired after them. This has been going on for at least a decade. In an effort to fix things I even tried exorcisms. Different voices still come out of my mouth when I am triggered.

Talking to psychs etc only seems to trigger the spasms and voices and I am so sick of them. I just want it all to stop. So after the session this week I s'hd and took two days worth of Klonolpin just so I could release some of the frustration and sleep. (I have been on Klonolpin for years so my body is very used to it).

I have been with the same group of professionals for years. I have given up hope of ever becoming happy or healthy. I am involved with craft groups to have social contact. My body seems to be at war with me as it rejects healthy food. I have been med compliant. (Not this week).

I know that being anywhere can set my head off. I have been seeing my current psych for 6 years. He has banned me from being in a mental hospital because they seem to kick off suicide attempts.

So all I want now is to stop seeing people that aggravate my neck/mind/voices. I know they wont go away but I will have much less of them.

I just want peace.