OE thank you. I am in limbo here. It is not set in stone that I will be going. My H asked me last week What do I want from him. I can't answer that w/ spoken words. It is something I had to think threw and write. But after writing it I was afraid to share it w/ my H. I am just so tired of fighting w/ him and tired of giving him reasons to beat me down emotionally. Well there's never a good reason but I don't want to add fuel to the fire so to speak.

I share what I had wrote w/ the T. She asked me had I considered showing it to him, I told her I considered it but that was why I brought it to her first. Because I wanted to do it at her office where I felt more safe. She asked that I not bring the kids that night. Because they often ride w/ me so my mom doesn't have to babysit. She asked that we both drive seperately. If he gets angry she doesn't want him to be near me. I may even want to consider packing a bag and not returning home if need be. It is most likely going to be an ugly visit. On the other hand if he is serious about changing like he says he is this could be one of those times that real growth occurs. We should take seperate vehichles so he can think by himself.

I'm scared. that's all I know to say. I'm scared for the future. Afraid of change. Afraid of no turning back. I just don't know. I had T yesterday. I know the first 48 hours are the hardest mentally so I know, hope, things will be a little less emotionally charged in a few days.

Thank you for responding. I find great peace in your knowledge.