Sannah,

I'm sorry you're struggling right now. No one likes being attacked, although as others have said, part of being on a forum is tolerating being attacked. That doesn't make attacking ok, but you know, haters gonna hate, and the more we put out there, the more we lay ourselves open to someone who is going to take what we say the wrong way, or take it personally, or use it as an opening to vent something that has nothing to do with us.

And also as others have said, I think far less attacking actually occurs on here than is perceived. We are all talking about vulnerable stuff, and I'm not saying your perceptions are "incorrect", but that in general this whole who-is-attacking-whom thing gets out of control so fast that no one even has time to just calm down or think, and everyone involved suffers.

I don't always agree with you, sure. But I happen to think it's great that you (1) ASK QUESTIONS -- in fact early on, you inspired me to ask more questions before I jump to giving my two cents, and (2) try to offer up ideas that have helped you in your journey. I have found your contribution to this forum to be quite valuable.

As Chopin said, yes, you're training to be a T -- and so are OTHERS on here. And you know, I find that making a false dichotomy between T and patient -- us and them -- to be petty, immature, and tiresome. What is this, "no grownups allowed"? What is it that makes ANY therapist not welcome and not capable of being supportive? Really, we are that narrow-minded?

From my perspective, it seems that those who want to slap the "therapist" label on you are those who are trying to imply that you somehow consider yourself superior. You have never implied anything of the sort to me -- rather, this is a blatant display of that person's issue with therapists and therapy, and their own feelings of inferiority. A fantastic woman once said that no one can make you feel inferior without your consent, and it's quite true. Every time you accuse someone of acting superior just because of a label like "therapist", or because they have actually made it to the other side of difficult issues and made their way beyond therapy, you are waving a red flag that says, "I feel inferior".

I'm sorry this is turning into a rant Sannah. But honestly. HONESTLY. I'm quite aware of what it's like, in other situations in my life, when someone who is struggling with something that I have made my through, turns on me when I try to tell them what worked for me. "You think you're so smart?" "Oh I'm sorry I'm not PERFECT like you, *I* am still struggling." I see this here all the time. Someone says they come for support, when what they mean is they come for sympathy, pity, maybe enabling, or maybe company for misery. But when you reject the well-intentioned advice from someone WHO STRUGGLED WITH THE VERY SAME PROBLEMS AND HAS OVERCOME THEM, you canNOT tell me you're looking for support. Sannah is one of these people, who is merely offering an approach that helped her. You don't like it? Here's your refund. Stick with people who are as lost as you are, I'm sure that'll turn out well.

I don't really know the backstory to all of this, I'm just responding to what I see in this thread.

Whenever someone has lashed out at me, it is certainly upsetting. Sometimes it gets settled, sometimes it doesn't; sometimes it was partly my fault, sometimes it wasn't. But when I read that comment that throws back in my face all of my suggestions for why things might be working, and what might help, and I start getting upset and my heart starts beating fast, I just close my laptop, and cozy up to my husband, with whom I worked hard to build a wonderful relationship that was not always wonderful or even good. Or call one of my awesome friends, with whom I've worked hard to set good boundaries and not become a doormat. Or really do anything that reminds me of all the hard work I've done, and all the things that that person is missing out on by rejecting my experience outright for reasons that are their own. No matter what anyone says, Sannah, YOU know the value of your experience, and you will always be able to reap the rewards of your hard work, no matter what anyone else wants to say or do.