Quote:
Originally Posted by SallyBrown
I'm quite aware of what it's like, in other situations in my life, when someone who is struggling with something that I have made my through, turns on me when I try to tell them what worked for me. "You think you're so smart?" "Oh I'm sorry I'm not PERFECT like you, *I* am still struggling." I see this here all the time. Someone says they come for support, when what they mean is they come for sympathy, pity, maybe enabling, or maybe company for misery. But when you reject the well-intentioned advice from someone WHO STRUGGLED WITH THE VERY SAME PROBLEMS AND HAS OVERCOME THEM, you canNOT tell me you're looking for support. Sannah is one of these people, who is merely offering an approach that helped her. You don't like it? Here's your refund. Stick with people who are as lost as you are, I'm sure that'll turn out well.
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SallyBrown, I appreciate what you wrote and found myself agreeing with most of it. Just felt compelled to chime in to say that sometimes people are just not in a place to want advice or guidance on what worked for someone else. I find that sometimes people just need to feel heard, understood, to know that someone can relate so they don't feel alone. "Meeting people where they are" has value. Of course, there's a fine line between providing empathy, enabling certain behaviors and challenging someone. It's hard to know what one is receptive to, is able to handle, or is needing at the time. We've been working a lot on this in group T.