It does seem confusing, doesn't it? I'm not saying that your pastor has issues, since I wasn't there to actually hear what he said, and it sounds like you sort of tuned him in and out. So, I can't speak about what, if anything, might be going on with him personally. From what you said, he does sound like he made some strong statements, however!

I know the Bible does say, "Love your neighbor as yourself" (Mark 12:31). God does expect us to care for ourselves as His children. We are created in God's image. He loves us more than any other of His creations. The danger comes in when people begin to see themselves as gods. That was the devil's failing.

Self-esteem has been overly emphasized the last number of years. I know even teachers have been taught not to do anything to "hurt" children's self-esteem, to the point where someone said, "We've never had so many people now feeling so good about being so dumb," or words to that effect. Why, we were even told not to use red pens to mark errors, to always find something good to say about a student's work, and so forth. (I was a college prof for 20 years, and I even taught "Educational Psychology.") Maybe this trend is what the pastor was driving at.

It does sound as if, from my personal opinion, he was throwing the baby out with the bath water. Of course, many fundamentalists see psychology itself as the work of the devil. True, many famous people in this line of work have not been Christians, but I know psychologists who are.

One subject of contention in the religion field has been what is called "worm theology." That is, the idea that people are like worms to God, worthless. I believe we need to be humble, but God is portrayed in the Bible as like a loving father to us.

Do you feel this love in the church you are attending? Have you experienced that special feeling of love that only God can provide? Is this pastor loving and does he talk about God's love and mercy? It could be that this church is more "fundamental" than you feel comfortable with. I truly hope you will discover what Christianity is really about. The New Testament, especially the Book of John, is a good place to start.

I won't address all the issues other people brought up. However, the Bible does not say we are "filthy rags" until we are saved, Krisa. It says that all the good things we do are like filthy rags, because being good is not the way to salvation. Salvation is a gift from God. And loving ourselves is not necessarily the "third" factor, but it's true about loving God and loving others being crucial. Thanks for sharing that part! However, if we don't love ourselves then we will have a hard time loving others. The Bible also says "We love because God first loved us" (1 John 4:19). : )

I hope my addressing religious issues here is not a problem. The topic warranted what I said, I believe.