I know just what you mean but I have found in the past the more I worry like you the more I do it. The scars are a permanent reminder. But I also know that the more I worked on stuff generally, not focussing on the sh it did get better. My t always agreed it was a coping strategy and although not a great one it got me through some difficult times. My advantage is that I am considerably older than you and no one has ever found out apart from t.
I want to reassure you but am not great with words, but don't beat yourself up about it. You can only do your best and I've time I'm sure it will decrease but its almost impossible to just stop dead as the triggers are all still there. Just know you aren't alone. You are working on it and people who haven't ever done it can't understand what leads us to do it. It sounds like you're working really hard so try not to be too hard on yourself