Oh, believe me, I am the last person who will ever tell you that you should change for a girl. I certainly never have. I have incredibly long hair which hasn't been in fashion on men since the mid-90's at the latest, I dress in jeans and an untucked button-down shirt every day of my life with a floppy old fedora propped up on my head. And that's the way I like it! What I meant was you can make a few changes that make YOU happy and feel better about yourself. Don't do it for anyone else. I don't know what that would be for you, the new clothes idea was just one example, but it should be for you to feel like you look really cool and are really cool and if you think it, you'll find other people start thinking it. Even if you're not particularly lacking in confidence, everyone can use a confidence boost every now and then and a great way to do it make some change about yourself for the better.
And now, some particularly good quotes from Anika:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anika.
I have met lots of "nice guys" or men that call themselves that and I have turned some of the nice guys down. They didn't come across that nice to me tho. They seemed to use manipulative tactics to try to real me in.
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This is
very true. This is what I was talking about with being overtly sexual in your courting of women. Make sure she has no doubts whatsoever that you want a sexual relationship with her. If you try to sneak in through the back door by acting like her friend first and trying to escalate from there, first off that rarely works which is the whole reason the concept of "friend zone" even exists, and secondly, it's downright deceitful and not very nice at all. You're intent is not to be her best friend, it's to be her lover. You'll have a lot more success if you just make sure that's out in the open right away. It sounds like you may have the requisite confidence, but just aren't being sexually overt enough. Yes, this will ensure that you get rejected a lot earlier on if she's not interested in that with you... but then you know where you stand and you can decide from there whether to cultivate a friendship with her or move on. It's just so much more efficient for everyone involved.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anika.
remember that you also are looking for someone that meets your needs, not just anyone can do that. You are not just trying to get hired for the job so to speak, you are also interviewing them as well to see if they are right for you.
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This is also very much true, and actually just as true of job interviews. I go into a job interview with the intention of evaluating the company for whether it's going to be a good fit for me to work there, not begging them for a job.