First of all I would like to thank everyone who has responded to me. Every post was helpful and I really appreciate the feedback. I am just a person who is trying to figure things out just like everyone else.

I had an epiphany last night at 5:00 AM thanks to PC and all of the people who responded to me, I was able to figure this whole thing out. Thank you so much!

I have been struggling with this issue for 15 years and it all came together this week and this AM.

“No good deed goes unpunished” .....................

I have seen Les Miserable 4 times and I cry each time. Jean Valjean had been treated terribly and it made him a worse person but then a bishop is merciful towards him after he steals the silver and tells him that he has a soul and that it has been saved. This transforms him and he vows to always be a good man. Javier follows the law with no exceptions (he was born in a prison). Throughout the entire play, Jean, while doing good deeds, keeps bumping back into Javier who is determined to bring him to justice (because he broke his parole). Jean keeps begging for mercy and then keeps escaping. There is no room for mercy with Javier. Finally, after Javier is captured by revolutionary troops and is going to be killed, Jean releases him, thus granting him mercy. They meet again while Jean is trying to save his daughter’s love of her life and Javier tells him if he tries to escape again he will shoot him right then and there. Jean risks his own life to do a good deed by escaping again in order to save the life of this other man and Javier cannot kill him. Javier then kills himself because he cannot live in a world without the strict rules of justice.

I have been struggling with this doing good deeds or turning the other cheek and getting hurt for years. I have never been able to see it clearly, however, until this last few weeks when I discovered that I have been in this position multiple times.

You see, this is the epic struggle with kindness and justice. You can’t have either extreme all the time. You need to be able to move back and forth as needed and it is always helpful to be fully aware of everything while you are doing it.

And one of the biggest things that I realized about all of this is that we each have these qualities, it is just where we are at at any moment on this continuum.

Maybe this is what people are responding to me about when they are upset with me here? Maybe they see the Javier in me at that moment? At other times people see the Jean Valjean in me and respond to me for this?

I see that the other thread is closed because we cannot discuss a member but I just needed to share what I learned because this site and members made it possible. Thanks!

All is well that ends well..........