I'm not a fan of going back together where there have been problems. At least not after a long time of separation. I believe it's really hard for people to change, so I can't trust anyone who seems to have changed, but after a good time of getting to know them again. I think that the reasons why it didn't work out will make it fail again, but second time it will hurt much more and lead to a worst break up.

I know cases where couples started living together again after a divorce but just as good friends. It was weird for the kids, because they also had an open marriage and, as hard as you can try, kids always know when something's not right.

You can't be in love with your ex husband because there's too many doubts inside of you and falling in love requires an open mind and an open heart. Of course you love him he's the father of your children! You went through a lot of experiences together, you wanted to share a whole life. But sometimes the hardest part is letting go of all those plans of a future together, not even the person or the feeling, but what you planned/thought/dreamed it would be in the future.

Maybe it's because everything is making you feel a little guilty. You started by pointing out it was 80% your fault. That sounds like guilt to me. Your children having to go through the separation, your ex husband willing to forgive, adn the prospect of not having enough money to live on your own... It must be overwhelming and the solution must seem simple, but it might as well be a big mistake.

I believe that, after all this, you haven't really given yourself a chance to try and have a new relationship. Maybe it's not the time, maybe you're too disappointed of having failed in your previous marriage or maybe you're just too full of problems, that you can't afford trying to engage and all what a relationship means.

I would think about it twice. None of you four deserve to go through a separation again. And if you have a little hunch that it will end up bad again, better take your time to see where it might really be going to.