I'm having a really tough day. Super great, productive day at work, but tonight I came home to get ready for my date (third one so far) and I just put on a shirt that I usually can pull off. I feel horribly fat and ugly. I don't even want to go out now. I feel like I have nothing that looks flattering and I'm sure he's just going to think I'm a blob. We haven't kissed yet, so I'm erects sure he'll make a move tonight. But all I can think of is, I hope he doesn't out his hand on my lower back and feel my muffin top! Or, I hope he doesn't see I have a roll or a double chin! I was fine until I put on that darn shirt.

So instead of doing something fancy, we decided to do pizza...and then come back to my house and watch a movie and play with my dog so he was easy to convince that jeans and a comfy sweatshirt would be perfect for the occasion. Actually, I think he's wearing fleece pants he said.

I want to cancel the date entirely. I know I won't do it, bc that's rude, but I am literally hating the way I look right now. I hate it. No one is going to ev find me attractive. I'm not even overweight, but for me...I completely am!

I struggled with anorexia and over exercising a few years back be had this beat. Now I just want to have that back...I just don't want to go tonight. I don't want any guy near me right now.