Hi Amy,

I'm sorry you're feeling so down. Try to love yourself and remember-- being a mother is an incredible job. You are raising four human beings who will impact this world in positive ways if you set a good example for them. So just know that and be comforted by it.

As for your husband, I would gently tell him that you need him to be present for you and with you in your marriage. You say he doesn't love you? I bet he will if he sees that you're loving yourself. So start right away! Act like the amazing woman you know deep down inside that you are. Not everyone has what it takes to raise 4 kids.

Something I learned when my husband didn't seem tuned in to me is this: if you want something, you must ask for it and be specific. Men don't think of surprising us by taking us up a mountain for a picnic. If you want him to do something with you, you might say, "I would like us to get a sitter next Saturday night and go out to dinner." (Unless your kids are old enough not to need a sitter... you get what I'm saying though, right?)

Also, run, don't walk to a book store or library and get Dr. Phil's book "Relationship Rescue" -- that will be a life saver.

And lastly, treat yourself, your husband and your kids with the utmost kindness and compassion as you go through your healing process. Especially yourself. Maybe you could find a way to get to a day spa without the kids and treat yourself to a facial, massage, pedicure and a new hairdo.

You can go on-- and you must go on-- you brought those children into the world to show them the beauty of it. Connect with the Earth and remember why you are here and why they are here. Take nature walks by yourself and with your kids. Get involved in what they're involved in. If they paint, paint with them. Find a hobby or creative outlet. And I'm a big fan of volunteer work (if you have time with 4 kids and a husband...)

Rent some comedy movies and start laughing! Monty Python and the Holy Grail is my favorite. Liar, Liar with Jim Carrey is another good one. Laughter is healing, so treat yourself to some, ASAP.

Good luck and keep us posted!

-Kelly