My therapist had to teach me to identify my feelings before I could figure out how to get them out. Before that they were random thoughts and feelings with no identifiable "hook" to hang them on was my problem. Going home one day she told me to "think about humiliation" for the week and, naturally, I was humiliated that week and that brought up anger and a bunch of stuff fell into place. The week after that she told me to think about "disappointment" and, right away, my husband disappointed me and that taught me a lot. Grab a feeling, any feeling and work on it for awhile and it will "show up" and things in your head will be attracted to it like a magnet and all the iron filings will line up in a row :-)

Having specific incidents line up with specific feelings helped me with the expression. I didn't have enough "words" at first to get stuff out.