I keep struggling with this same cycle of thoughts. I know it can't help that I stopped taking my meds, on my own, but they were making me hear *****. IDK what to do or think anymore. There's no real drive to do anything, but I constantly think of suicide now. I don't really want to do it, but well, it's kinda hard to explain, it just feels like it's meant to be.

I will never truly be happy no matter my situation. Only, temporary fake highs that lead to crashes of despise. I hate who I am, who I've become, and all I can ever see myself being.