Oooh I forgot about your fall .. Yikes hope the surgery goes well..

Self loathing will just eat away at you. so here is what my T had me do a year or so ago, write down on paper all the things I blame myself for( relationships, weight,bad haircuts,etc etc etc ). I did... 3 pages worth He asked me to just pick one thing and forgive myself , yes really forgive myself. and just move on from there.. It wasn't easy but 99 % of them all I have let go of and forgiven myself. Bonus is my being kind to everyone has allowed me to become kinder to myself.

Hard to start but once it does it's amazing how quickly it picks up speed.