I lost my sister not quite two years ago after a long bout with breast cancer and a bone marrow transplant. Those months following the transplant were incredibly difficult and pretty traumatic for all of us. When she died, the pain of her loss was profound. I grieved strongly for a very long time. I wouldn't say having bp really made it any worse. My T and my pdoc kept reminding me that the grief I was feeling was entirely a normal process and to realize what I was going through wasn't really bp at all.

I allowed myself time to grieve. I worked through my grief in therapy. It took many months to get to a point where I didn't cry each and every day. I'd say the first year was really hard: there are all those "firsts"; the first holiday without her, the first birthday without her, etc.

This second year has been a bit better. I still miss her terribly, but the pain is not so profound.

This is going to take time to get through. There is no time table, but eventually it will get easier. Just don't expect that to happen really soon; it is okay and perfectly normal to be in the kind of pain you are in right now.