i don't believe in God anymore because i am so stuck in this life. if he exists, great. if he doesn't, then i'm just not interested at all. i've been in this life for so long and nothing has changed. i regret the moment i became a christian. i don't like living this way. my birthday was forgotten. my friends forsook me. i hate them. i honestly do. i cannot forgive someone who's hurt me for so many years. i despise them all. i don't see myself holding grudges but still those feelings of hate are just still present.