yeah my mother is hypercritical and short-tempered. i have adopted some of her behavior patterns. i feel like i have. i just can't take it anymore. i really want to leave this house because she is just so annoying. her voice is so loud that even the neighbors can hear her. really, i feel like sometimes i have to talk over her and it's not easy. she's never going to change. if she will, great. if not, i'll be stuck in this bottommless pit for another year until i attend college. what's more, they'll be paying for it, and if i'm not obedient enough, i may have to attend a cheaper college because who's going to provide the cost and fees? nobody will. due to our constant bickering in the house,my friends have seemingly ignored me. well, i guess news travels fast, doesn't it? my whole world is starting to fall apart. i am not well. not at all. i used to hold onto religion for comfort, but why bother? no religion can answer your problems. they just teach you to behave a certain way but there are situations that push you to react like this. like how can i love someone who doesn't love me? or is out there trying to harm me? makes absolutely no sense. how can i look my haters in the eye and tell them i love them? ha, if that was possible, then religion would have been used instead of science. i'm starting to lose it all. i don't believe and i don't see why i should. actions don't have consequences either. all my life i have been someone who haven't really been the fight-picker, i'm always the one who gets trampled by others for various reasons. of course, i wasn't always perfect, i made some people mad and all, but overall, i wasn't that bad. i just wasn't. i'm sick of living with this mother of mine who is so overbearing. she needs to lighten up. she needs to stop maintaining her traditional values because it will only result in more alienation.