Great.

So on top of this whole feeling agitated and pissed off at everything and everyone, I am falling behind on the other stuff I was mad at myself about.

Like not forcing myself to do the things on my to-do-list.

Right now, there is one spot to sit in the family room of my house. I have been sitting in this one the whole time I am home (except for when I'm asleep) every day since I got fired the day after Thanksgiving.

It is on a couch. The rest of the couch has a pile of laundry and mail on it.

There is room to put my computer on the corner of a table I set up in front of the couch. The rest of the table is filled with mail, med bottles, trash, candy, and random stuff.

All of the other surfaces in this room are topped with clutter.

The front room is the room I had intended to be my office. There is a desk, but it is covered with trash and paperwork from the last time I was fired and on unemployment, which was around 2008.

I went in there the other day to start throwing stuff away and putting stuff in a to-be-shredded box, but it was so overwhelming that I grabbed my computer bag and left.

Today I slept until 11:00 a.m. I've been up for about 20 minutes. I haven't showered since Thursday. I'm so scroungy and nasty that my eyes keep stinging from salty, oily forehead dripping into them. Something weird is going on with my skin.

Just so freakin' tired of everything.

I know my life won't change unless I get my act together and do the things on my to-do-list that will lead to me being able to make some decent money.

But how do I get off this one little spot on the couch?