Yea serious issue huh?

But yeh, I've actually got a few things done, things have felt worthwhile, I had some fun.

If I stay on this schedule, I will have three activities a week but after one week I'm done in. I'm not happy. I'm so tired. Now I'm talking one day of care worker, one day of work and one day of a thing I joined. It feels so rotten my energy is already spent on that. So that it is not fun anymore.... (Care worker 1.5 hr, work 5 hours, activity 3 hours, lame 9.5 hours of doing anything a week.)

I mean... I have a very hard time accepting I have a severe physical illness that will slow me down to this point or worse for the rest of my life. With it, they talk about "pacing". Dang, I want fun sometimes, not just pace pace... blah blah. I had a few new projects, but I guess I just will have to delay them.

Now I feel like I will never feel that alive again. Maybe having fun was a bad idea.