I've had a bad week. Just...everything has gone wrong from the battery in my car dying to having a big fight with a close friend so now I'm not even sure where our friendship is at. I spent yesterday evening crying on and off and just feeling very sad.. I have a first date tonight and the bad thing about it is that I'm not even excited (I am very nervous though). I'm just trying to get up the emotional energy to be able to be happy and spirited so that he doesn't have a bad time. He's a great guy, and I should be excited, I am just in a very negative frame of mind right now and keep thinking, "What's the point? This is just another relationship I'm likely to ruin." But it's not his fault that I'm BPD (he doesn't know, obvs) and he should have a good time tonight so...I'm gonna rally and make sure that happens.