Thanx... ugh I hate making priorities. I didn't work for several months and I really felt better. But when I got back to work and saw the ponies they just filled me with such joy. I feel it is a privilege just being near them, feel them breathe on your hand, groom them, pet them...

And coming home to tired tired tired.

Yup it does feed into depression.

I think even after these years I just cannot accept my limits. One part is just me pushing or me wanting, the other part is everything I've been told, that I'm not tired I'm just lazy, even med staff have called me lazy. Some of them still think I'm a hypochondriac and that it's not "that" bad. I try to convince myself they have no right telling me things like that, but every time I'm called lazy, I want to go out and DO something to prove them wrong.

I appreciate your kind post.