I have been with my husband for 8 years, married for over 3. When we first got together he thought that it was important to wait a little while before we had sex. Understandable, though not my MO in the past. I waited the amount of time he wanted and then we started having a sexual relationship as well as an emotional one. The sex seemed pretty great. I thought that there was passion. At this point, we were also several states away from each other so when we got together the passion was on overdrive because we knew we wouldn't see each other for a while. I moved to his state and we lived together. The sex was still pretty great, I like a bit of kink and I thought that he did too. He would tie me up, we would role play, costumes, sometimes toys, things like that. Over the last few years, our sex was dying down. It was both our faults, I am not going to lie on that front, though I would masturbate a lot and I gather that he did too. I wanted this to change, I knew that I would have to show him that and take the initiative because I was feeling unfulfilled. I bought some sexy lingerie, made a yummy dinner, and wrote down a list of sexual fantasies that I wanted to act out with him. Now I guess this is the part where I am supposed to let you know that I am pretty attractive, 5'0, size 4, proportional body, pretty face etc. I find him attractive too, though he is a bigger guy, 5'8 285, husky rather than fit. Back to the dinner, long story short, he totally rejected me, made me cry and left the house after I set up this whole thing. We talked about it the next day and he revealed that he was stressed about a bunch of things, that he was flattered but I put too much pressure on him and all that. I understood after a while and we decided to eliminate some of the stress which meant that we were not going to buy a house and that we were going to wait to try to have kids a little longer. He said that he would try in the bedroom more and that he did want to do the things with me that I noted on the list.

That was 2 months ago...now I still initiate sex, all the time. I work out regularly, keep myself shaved and clean, wear sexy things to bed, the whole 9 yards, and about 70% of the time I am rejected. He does not have ED and he is a lot less stressed. I doubt that he is seeing anyone, and he is not enjoying the fact that I am constantly asking for sex. That I want to do these things with him and that I get upset when I am rejected. He shoots down sex hours before we even get to the bedroom part. Then when I wear him down as he puts it, he makes a point to tell me that the only reason that he had sex with me was because I wanted it. It makes me feel so unwanted and awful, but he is my husband so I keep dressing up in these outfits and trying to seduce him. I talk to him about the rejection, we have a very honest and open relationship like that, and he says sorry, he's just not in the mood. I asked him if he ever had passion for me and he says no. I ask him if he finds me attractive and he says yes, and I ask him if he thinks I'm sexy and he says that he sees me as cute, which is how he's always seen me. I told him that I would love for him to try to seduce me, think about ways to pleasure me or my me want him bad, and he says that he won't do that. I don't know what to do. It makes me feel unwanted, and honestly embarrassed. I am 31 and I know that I am hitting my peak, I know that he already hit his peak, but I seriously, I have known many 40 year old men with stronger libidos so what is up with this situation. I am beginning to think that he just doesn't want me, that maybe he doesn't love me, and that we are best friends who love each others company, live together and have sex sometimes...but he says he adores me and loves me. His actions just say the opposite. Thoughts?