I'm so glad you found us too and that we found you.
My dads death was a huge loss for me. The depression started in the months leading up to it while the cancer had already won, but made sure he had a lengthy suffering. I did not have bp dx yet, I was 25, 14 yrs ago. I'm not over it, I still miss him and need him everyday. But time helps a bit. Not that the memories together fade, not at all. I still have my memories of him I don't ever want to lose. But with time the acceptance of the reality gets easier to deal with. I dealt with it by keeping going, finding laughter where I could cuz he would've wanted to make me laugh and smile if he could. And I cried a lot, still do sometimes.