I think his point was there are better adjectives to describe what you want/need in a partner. Confidence as a concept is vague. How you define it depends on your perception. Confidence is also based on body language and if you cant read it then the idea of it canto be lost. Concepts like self-love often have distinguished guidelines of what it is/isn't based on contextual clues. Even this can be lost if the individual cant relate to the topic.