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TYMBERWOLV said:
she told me yesterday that she thinks i deserve to be happy and wants me to be happy .. That she is proud that I'm taking the necessary steps to better myself .. It is hard to watch someone you love so much become a " stump" a lifeless tree without growth

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for Perna....i was in a 16 year marriage and left it without any self-esteem or self-worth. from my life experience, considerable, let me assure you that anyone can do anything to another person, if they are manipulative and controlling enough......sounds to me as if someone has a lot of anger toward the husband's ex wife.....

for Timblwlv....you're in anger management. obviously, you knew that you needed to be there. pushing someone else to "make them better" is the easiest way in the world to keep from tending to your own problems. there was a payoff for you in the controlling and if you can see that and eliminate that from your issues, you'll be so much better off. part of the issue might be calling her a "lifeless stump" without growth. if it were me, i'd want you to be happy too.....away from me.......

working on your problems is the easiest way for others around you to "improve"....we tend to see things in a different light when we concentrate on our issues and stay out of theirs. and we are seen in a different light by others when we do that.......good luck.