You sound alot like my Husband. I am not real sure what is up w/ him. I do think it is beyond his control. He doesn't want to be difficult he just is. I have been married to him for 18 years and it has been very hard. He appriciates nothing, does nothing to help. He sat in the car at wal-mart and let me load groceries into the back of the car in the rain and it never occured to him to help. I feel badly for him. I feel badly for you to. Unfortunately if he doesn't change we are headed for divorce. I can't do it anymore.

I don't know the answer to your situation or mine. I just wanted you to know you are not alone in this. My H and I are seeing a marriage T. It is helping only to show him what he is doing is not right. It has not helped him stop completely though. It has helped a little.