possum Im sorry you are having such a hard time right now. before I was integrated my therapist would say the same thing, asking me what we could do differently. it was her way of including me and my ideas in the therapy process.

she is a firm believer in the saying (and said it often) ...no one knows you better than yourself, its your body and your alters so it is you that must tell me when something is not working and help point the way to alternatives that may help, take time to relax and come up with some ideas that you would like to try, this isnt a sole venture of me fixing you, you must do your part too.

I know its hard to think about ...what do I need at this moment...what do I need from my therapist that will help me through this rough time...

I hated it every time my therapist would throw those statements out to me but she was right. she wasnt inside my body and she could not read my mind and automatically know what I needed to do differently / what I needed from her at that moment I let her know I was having a problem. but it did help that she wasnt automatically telling me what to do with my body. So many treatment providers in my life had been the kind that were like well here you go this is what we are going to do, translated meant you are going to do what I say to do whether you like it or not. I was just totally shocked when I first got this therapist that was actually asking me what we could do differently/asking me to tell her what I needed from her. All I could say the first few times was....I dont know, if I knew that I wouldnt be here right and other versions of I dont know.

but with practice and over time this treatment option of my therapist including me in the process instead of just telling me what to do, became easier and easier.

question...what did you need when you wrote this post... Im guessing because the title is "sorry need to vent" you came here because you wanted someone to know what was going on with you. Im guessing you needed to get all those thoughts out of your head...

the reason I asked the question was to show you, that you do know what you need. it may not have been a long drawn out process of figuring out what you need, but you just did it. you did what you needed for yourself.

its that same kind of thing my therapist was looking for and may be what your therapist is looking for from you. when something happens and you have the urge to tell your therapist something is going on, that something didnt work, or made things worse..while still in that moment that you feel somethings not right, something is wrong, your tired, frustrated and triggered by whats happening, add an I wonder if we can try this or something like ...this made this happen so we cant do that again maybe we should do this instead..

then through trial and error of trying things you and your therapist will find that one thing that calms everything down for you.