Quote:
Originally Posted by siempre nada
Alright. So after a very long bout of being a loner, I finally have the opportunity of friendship opening up with my college housemates and I can't deal. It seems like being around people for a prolonged period of time drains me quickly..even if I enjoy their company. I've learned to be cheery and positive and jokey around others but I can't keep that up too long. I get tired and sad and stare off in space in strange ways and I prefer they don't see that. I either say stupid things or get uncomfortably quiet or awkward when I hit my limit with being around people (which is kinda short). But I also have this desire for a deep connection with another person that my short social fuse does not permit. When people see the awkward sad person i really am I know I'll lose them so i try to maintain some distance...I have a love hate relationship with the loner lifestyle but after years of it I'm comfortable with it. ugh...i don't know..  |
I feel that way, too. I feel like I am alone a lot. There are times when I'm alone, I would want to be with some people or just be with one person. Then it happens that I am with someone or with other people.
It depends on how it goes. It's a lot more draining for me to be with groups of people because it seems like they would like each other better than me. Or they would pay more attention to each other more than me.
When I'm with an individual I can enjoy it. But sometimes that can be draining if the conversation is not going that well. There are times when my mind can get bogged down with dreadful thougths, and then I would not be paying attention to that other person.
At a time when I feel lonely, I think about how nice it would be to be with someone. And right at that time, I would get what I want and then it would not be as great as I thought it would.
It's like being locked up inside because you are being punished and you want to go out. And then when you go out, you don't know what to do!