Bless your heart. I'm sorry this happened to you. But when you said you were a "fixer" that kind of put up a red flag. We can't "fix" people who don't want to be fixed, and she definitely didn't want to be. Actually we can't fix anyone. We don't have that power.

When she cheated on you the first time, you should have just chalked that up to a bad choice of women. She obviously wasn't into the relationship like you were. You said it was at the HEIGHT of your relationship too, so that made it even worse! And the fact that she ALLOWED you to get so close to her son so as to fall in love with him -- and they she basically tossed you aside. That makes it twice as difficult as you had to lose her son too! Forgive me for saying this but she wasn't a very nice girl.

You are grieving right now, and it's going to take time to get thru it. You'll grieve the relationship much like you'd grieve a death. And of course that always takes time. Be patient with yourself -- don't let others tell you that you should be "over it" by now. Grieving is personal and everyone is different. You'll know when you're thru it. God bless and please take care of YOU. Hugs, Lee