Thank you all so much.
My boyfriend is actually this type of person everybodys looking for.Hes good looking,polite,friendly and just really loves me. He opens the car door for me EVERY time we get into the car,he always wants me safe and whenever we fight hes the one trying to fix it. However we once had a "low" in our relationship where we really fought every single day & stopped having sex etc. he started going on online dating sites and he actually went on a coffee date with one woman.Ive found out about that cause ive found a text on his phone.He explained it too me and we had the biggest fight so far.But he started crying(ir was the first time ive seen/hear him cry) and he regreted it sooo much.when he arrived at the cafe they met he actually left shortly afterwards cause he realized what he was doing. I know he will never do it again and he still feels bad about it.he even says its disgusting himself that he did sth like that. But still..even if girls just talk to him &i know my boyfriend is not interested in themi dont want thrm to talk to him. He is MINE and nobodyelses! I feel like even talking to somebody else is too much and the weird part is that i even think like that when he does stuff with his male friends.Im jealous about every minute he spends with them.Its a minute or a conversation he doesnt share with me!
I actually told him about my feeling yesterday.I told him the truth about me fearing to loose him or that he does sth stupid.I dont even wanna share him with noone. He said he understands but honestly i dont think he knows how serious my fear/jealousy is. Everytime we fight or he asks me to sleep with him and im not in the mood i blame myself for not satisfying him and sometimes i even cut myself to punish myself for that. I should be glad to have such a great boyfriend and im supposed to make him happy.Sometimes i just cant